Poem: I am.

I am

I am a woman.  

I have lost hope.

When I woke up I was alone, for the first time in twenty years.

I woke up alone

I have lost the person I love most in this world

He was my best friend, my lover, my companion.

I thought we would grow old together, die together.

I don’t know why he left me.

He loved me for who I am.

He loved me for my mind, my body, my soul, my heart.

I have been sitting here since morning, I don’t know what time it is.

It’s dark outside

I can’t move, I am so alone.

I am her eyes.

I can still see the outline of his body imprinted in his sheets.

Through a couple of windows I strain to see silhouettes moving slowly.

The man I saw last night, the man I was used to, was gone.

All I can see is where he used to lie.

I frantically searched for him as if he was hiding in the sheets.

I am paralyzed.

I am the girl who has been left alone.

I have lost people I love.

I have stared off into space, wondering what happed,

And what would have happened if things had gone differently.

I know this expression of loss and loneliness.

This is a look I acquire after I have come to peace with what has happened,

Once it has set in that the person has been lost.

I can see the sadness in her eyes and in her posture.